ONE IN A MULLIGAN

Amanda DeLuca shares a part of her story as a part of OneInAMulligan.com's Untold Parenthood Series.

Is this life “whatever I put my mind to?” Would my younger self be proud?

So, yes, it’s true: It’s hard to be a caregiver. It's a thankless, around-the-clock job. But it’s also really challenging to be a mother.

A love letter to you, my husband, the person who loved me before all of this.

“Speak your truth, even if your voice shakes.” Ruth Bader Ginsberg

Motherhood has shaped me. It sounds cliché, I know, but beyond my wildest understanding, my desire to be a mother has paved my path in life.

It’s interesting to think about the trajectory of life, and how different your circle looks throughout.

Those days really know how to kick us when we’re already down. It’s like they can sense our vulnerability.

I took to another vlog this week to address the questions I've been asked about Flynn’s road to diagnosis and what that looked like for...

This morning, I talked at length on IGTV LIVE about the feeding issues we’ve dealt with and some of the strategies we’ve used!

It infuriates me. It brings me to the most heartbroken tears. It makes me want to shake people and make them understand.

Maybe it’s time to tell the truth.

To me it’s known as “the day that never was.”

What I am hoping is that as everyone returns to the office and former life resumes, there is perspective.

It’s constantly being stuck between caregiver, advocate, and mother, trying to decide what’s best and wishing to be just “mommy” for once.

mom•guilt /mɒm-ɡɪlt/ (noun): the unhappy feelings caused by thinking or feeling like you did something wrong, like missing your child blink.

In the beginning of all of this, sitting in labor + delivery with my barely-there baby bump, my first instinct was that I could fix it.

The reality, especially for a special needs parent, is that even a place for “all-abilities” often caters, still, to the “physically able.”

Ali Dunn tells her story about the constant change in motherhood, and how being the parents of a preemie makes that change even harder.

“A diagnosis is not a prognosis,” a wise doctor once said to me, as I was deep in panic.